To Keep Forever Sacred The Memory of Those We Have Loved and Lost

Hi everyone out there. I wanted to take a minute to do a quick blog post about losing those who are close to us. On August 14th, my grandfather passed away after suffering a stroke a few weeks earlier. When my mom called me and told me that he was dying, I found myself yelling the same thing I yelled when my father passed away a few months earlier. "It's not fair!" I know I must have sounded like a child to PJ, but even he agreed that it wasn't fair, while he silently wept and I loudly sobbed. I like to fancy myself a religious person, but not overzealous about the whole thing. Everyone kept telling me that I should be happy that my grandfather no longer has to suffer and that he is at peace and with God. I know I should be happy for that, but unfortunately I am still angry and sad about the whole thing. I find myself asking what kind of God would get our hopes up for his recovery, only to then take that away by my grandfather dying? I also wonder, what really happens when we die? It's a thought that permeates my brain constantly. I mean does everything go black and that's the end? Do we actually see the white light and our loved ones ready to embrace us with open arms? What about people who go to hell? Do they immediately decend into a pit of fire? Or do we all wait until Judgement Day and then that's when people are assigned to their final destinations? Or is it when we die, we die. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, no nothing? Death can seriously make you question these things. Also it's of note that a close friend of me and PJ just lost their baby. He was born premature and did not make it. I think it is really getting to PJ based on the fact that I'm pregnant now. I just don't know what to do or say to make things any better. I guess sometimes when things like this happen, I'm the forget about it and move on kind of person, but then again I have never lost a child. I guess when it comes to death and dying, we have to remember, but do our best to move on as well.