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| My Itty Bitty Princess |
I think we should start around the week before Thanksgiving 2009. I was taking CNA courses at Wake Tech and had passed the theory part and was about to start my clinicals so that I could take the State Certification Test. Before we went for the tour, my classmates and I were practicing taking each other's blood pressure. They loved to take my vitals because I was the only pregnant woman in the class which was sort of a good distraction from the stress of class. Anyway, when they took my vitals, my blood pressure was up. When I mean up it was around the 140s to 150s. My instructors were like you should go to your doctor, but I didn't have any symptoms like a headache or vision problems, so I said I would go after the tour of the clinical site. Well I went to the health department and they checked my BP and said go over to the hospital we're calling ahead for you. When I got there I went straight to the L&D triage and they check the baby and my vitals and ran an urinalysis. The doctor came back in and said "Well we need to keep you for a few days to see if you have pre-eclampsia. I was like Okay and make my calls to my mom and PJ. A few days later I was sent home with orders to take it easy and not to do anything strenuous including forgoing my CNA clinicals. I was also transferred to the high risk clinic were every week I had to go in for a check up. I remember my appointment was every Monday and just about every Monday I was sent over to the L&D triage and from there either I was sent home on bed rest or kept in the hospital.
Fast forward to my baby shower on Saturday December 19, 2009. I was due to give birth to Justine at the end of January 2010. PJ's mom came for the shower but because of the weather (ice and sleet) she wanted to go ahead and get back to New York. The next day we went to dinner at Olive Garden for my mom's birthday. I remember everyone sampled Moscato but me because of Justine. The next day (Monday) I went for my check up and true to form I was sent to the hospital. The doctor who sent me said that she really didn't want to because I was asymptomatic for the pre-eclampsia but her superior said to just send me over and if nothing was wrong I would be sent home. When I got to the triage room, the doctor who had ordered me to bed rest was like "You again?" I was sent to a room. From what I understood, I was a resident of Wake Medical until the baby was ready to be born, which could mean I would be there until the end of January unless my BP could go down.
On Wednesday, December 23, 2009 I was still in the hospital and was taken to ultrasound to run tests on Justine to check her growth and development. I was starting to get depressed because no one wants to spend Christmas in a hospital. By the next day Christmas Eve I was ready to go home. I was done. My BP was still up and I was like "If they can't keep it down here, why not let me go home?" I watched the A Christmas Story marathon on TBS with PJ and we imagined if that's what our family would be like when we had Justine.
On Friday, December 25, 2009 PJ left around 5:20am to go to work. At around 6:00am the doctors came to do their rounds. I remember telling them that either they tell me what's the next step or I'm checking myself out of the hospital. The doctor assured me that she would find out what was going on and that she would be back to let me know what was going to happen next. My mom came around 10:00am and stayed for about an hour before she left to go to my grandparent's house to help with Christmas preparations. At around 11:00am the nurse came in to do the daily check on Justine. Right after she hooked me up to the machine and left, the doctor came in. She started talking about how because of my pre-eclampsia, Justine had stopped growing and that basically she was in the womb getting nothing. She summed it up with the words "today you're having your baby". I was initially shocked. It wasn't the outcome I was looking for but moments later I was excited. That little girl who had been kicking me and rolling around was finally coming into the world even though it was 6 weeks early. I first called PJ at work. If you know PJ you know that outwardly he is Mr. Calm and Collected, but he told me that inside he was ecstatic. I then called my mom and told her.
Around 3:00pm the induction preparation began. PJ was there and all I could eat was ice chips. The last thing I had to eat was a cup of chicken noodle soup. A far cry from the cheeseburger and fries I had been grubbing on. The doctor put me on Magnesium to prevent any seizures that could come with giving birth with pre-eclampsia and it made me miserable. I would be hot and then cold and then hot. PJ would fan me and cover me and hold my hand, but I just wanted to get the show on the road. Around 7:00pm the doctor examined me and saw that I was completely closed so he inserted a bulb catheter to start my cervix dilating. About 45 minutes later I felt my first contraction. It felt like an intense menstrual cramp and it lasted a few seconds. I squeezed PJ's hand and he squeezed back. The contractions were slow and I could handle them.
Around 8:30-8:45pm the doctor ran a test on Justine to see how she was doing. When the test was over he said she wasn't tolerating labor because not only was her heart rate dropping, but she wasn't moving as much as she should. In other words, we were moving to a c-section.
I signed the papers and took that medicine that tastes like the world's worst shot. I was wheeled to the operation room while PJ waited outside until he was able to come in. The nurses had me sit on the side of the OR table so that the anesthesiologist could administer the epidural. However when he put the needle in I felt a sharp pain down my right leg. He tried again and again I felt the pain. I was trying to tell him that I felt the pain in my leg, but he was being an asshole and acting like it wasn't him, I was me. I remember wanted to yell out the f-bomb, but instead I threw up on the poor nurse in front of me. I think he got the message and stopped the epidural. Later we would discover that I had scar tissue from two spinal surgeries and that's why the epidural didn't work. I heard him say, let's prep for general which meant they were knocking me out. Then I heard someone say "Who's that guy sitting out there?" I yelled that's my boyfriend and asked if anyone told him what was going on. I then heard the door open and close, so I assumed that they were going to tell him. The nurses laid me back and said "Just close your eyes and think about your beautiful baby."
The next thing I know I'm waking up in the recovery room with my mom calling out "Afton wake up. You're a mommy". I opened my eyes and saw her and asked where was PJ. She told me that he was with the baby and was coming back to see me. I asked if she cried and was told that she did. I smiled and went back to sleep. PJ then came in and said "She's so beautiful". Justine Briana was born at 11:09 pm on Christmas Night. She weighed 4 pounds and 3 ounces and had slick black hair. I remember the first time I saw her face to face. It was Saturday, December 26, 2009 in the evening. I was still loopy from all the medicine I had but the moment I saw her, everything was clear. The first thing I said was "She's teeny tiny". She looked at me with a look that said "Where have you been?" I held her and made a promise to myself that I would go to hell and back to make sure that she was safe and that nothing ever happened to her. She's the love of my life. She's the Christmas present that will keep giving and bringing joy for the rest of my life. I love you Justine Briana. This post is dedicated to you.
Love MOMMY!!
