A 1000 Ways To Die (But Millions of Ways To Live)

Hey everybody out there that bothers to read my blog when I post something new. I wanted to write this entry and dedicate it to my daughters Itty and Teeny (well not so Teeny because if you see her you'll want to know why I call her Teeny). This morning I woke up and after washing my face and doing my other morning business, I noticed a huge spider on the counter. I didn't know how long it had been there, but after calming my heart rate down, I did what any other arachnophobic does in a situation like that. I killed it and flushed it's body down the toilet. I then wondered what that disgusting creature was thinking before it met its end at the bottom of my pink Old Navy flip-flop. Was it thinking "ah another beautiful day" or "I wonder if that short chick is going to scream when she sees me"? Who knows and who cares. I'm sorry I hate spiders. Anyway I also started to think about myself. As far as I can remember I have always been a little terrified of three things: spiders, bees, and death. With spiders and bees, those fears can be dealt with. I just kill the buggers or run fast as I can to keep from being in the same room as them. However, death is one of those things that try as you might you're going to have to deal with one of these days. I know you are wondering "Why the hell are you dedicating a blog about death to your daughters? Oh no are you thinking about the end all beat all again? Do we need to call the doctor for you?" Don't panic. My depression has been under control for two years now, but I'm writing this for them because as of now, they have no concept of death and its permanence. I remember when my father and grandfather died. Itty was one year old and Camille wasn't even born yet. At that time, I told Itty that her granddad and PaPa had passed away and her response was to give me her juice cup and smile. I wish I could go back to that mentality that death was a foreign notion and that it didn't apply to me. However, you get to the age when someone dies or you see a death played out on television which leads to you saying "But I don't want to die" and someone saying "Well everybody dies" just as easily as someone saying "Everybody poops". You live the next years of your life knowing that anytime, your number can be up. After having Teeny and turning 30, the thought would keep me up nights. I would be scared that I would drop dead at home and the girls would be alone until Lovey came home and found my body. My biggest fear was leaving them alone without me. I would cry myself to sleep and sometimes wonder when and how it was going to happen. However, there was a problem with that. I didn't know and I wouldn't know and nothing in the world can stop it from happening. In fact I took a online questionnaire and based on my answers, with my lifestyle right now I can live to be 75. When I found that out something clicked in me and for the first night since April, I slept soundly. No tears and no thoughts in my head. The next morning when I woke up, I realized something. I could sit and continue to ponder my death and all that entailed until I became an invalid or I could just get off my butt and do the things I want to do and live each and everyday like it was my last. Because as I've said, death is one of those things that has to happen and since nobody has created an immortality potion as of yet, we just have to go with the eventual flow.

So what's waiting for us on the other side? Darkness? Heaven? Hell? Who knows and really do we care? Right now we should be worrying about if the world ended tomorrow could we say that our time on this earth was worth every minute? Did we do all that we set out to do and did we leave here better than we found it? That's what I want my girls to get from this blog someday when they are old enough to read it. Don't sit and ruminate on things that you can do nothing about and go out and do the things that you do have power over. As for me, right now I'm going to sit and do some research on how to drop the 100 pounds that I need to get rid of because when it's my time to go, I'm going to look damn fine.

Until next time my loves

P.S. I also created a "Keep Calm" poster that really puts things at ease for me. You never know when a Gin and Tonic might come in handy. Just sayin'.

Private Organizations and Companies Have The Right To Believe What They Want and I Have The Right To Disassociate From Them

I Love The Way This Oreo Looks!!

Hey everybody in Bloggoland. I haven't blogged in a long time and for that I am sorry, but rest assured that I have been thinking of just what to blog about and trust me this blog is going to be nice.

Unless you have lived under a rock for so many years you may have heard that the Boy Scouts of America has a long standing ban on homosexuals as scouts and scout leaders. If you follow the news then you have heard of scouts who have been scouting since they were little kids to the point of reaching the high ranks only to have it swept out from under them because they are homosexual. Also recently a Boy Scout den mother was banned because she's a lesbian. There has been outrage and even a lawsuit or two; one even reaching the Supreme Court where it was decided that because BSofA is a private organization they can admit or deny membership to whoever they want. Recently, BSofA had the powers that be announce that after "careful" consideration, they decided that their ban on homosexuals will not change. As for what I think of it all? I think that homosexuals should be allowed to participate in scouting. I feel that the board that decided that they would continue to feed into discrimination is only making it so people will associate scouting with discrimination and that's the sad commentary about it. I remember when my brother was a boy scout and from what I can remember, they taught pride and acceptance of all, but little did we know that there was fine print involved. As my title says, BSofA can ban homosexuals all they want because they are a private organization. However, if I have a son, I doubt that I will allow him to be a boy scout as long as this policy is in place. Where is the harm in homosexuals being involved in Boy Scouts. Do the powers that be have an antiquated notion that homosexuality can be harmful to children. It has been proven time and time again that children of same sex couples do no worse or better than children with heterosexual parents raising them. Also with pedophiles the majority of them are heterosexual, so before anyone even thinks about that just stop it. Seriously. Also if a boy scout came to my door selling popcorn, I would have to decline because I can't give money to an organization that talks of belonging and treating others with respect only to say "If you're gay, stay away". I just can't get down with that. Which brings me to my next topic: Chick-fil-A.

A few years ago, my aunt told me in conversation that we should boycott Chick-fil-A because of their stance on homosexuality and same sex marriage. At the time I took it with a grain of salt because a) I love their food and b) their lemonade and peach milkshake rocks my world. I knew that Chick-fil-A was a bit on the "heavily religious" side because they don't open on Sundays (ANYWHERE!!!) and even their kids books have a touch of Christianity to them (not an issue: I'm Baptists and so are my kids). But when I read what their President had to say about same sex marriage and families, I knew enough was enough. It's not enough that they don't support same sex marriage, but for him to say the only family they recognized was the "biblical" definition of family, it kind of pissed me off. My parents divorced when I was 8 or 9 years old and my mother raised me and my brother. We were and are a family. We had an extended family that did and continues to keep us together. We were raised to believe in Christ and the Bible, but to treat ALL people with respect. Does that make us less of anything Mr. Chick-fil-A president? I guess as long as we're spending our money gay or straight but not raised in the "family" way then it doesn't matter as long as your are spending, but once you leave then we will continue to think less of you, yeah not having it. So I resolved that the only way I would spend money in Chick-fil-A again is a)I have to be starving to the point that if I do not eat food, I could possibly die b) I would have to be tied down and force fed the food (which I would fight until I passed out from hunger or c) They change their position and stop funding these right wing nut jobs.

Well I got that off my chest. I know some of you will be like "if you boycott those two, what about the others". Hey as they come across my desk and my research I may have to boycott them as well. As of now Target is on my radar but they are recognizing that their past contributions are not good and are trying to make things right, but if I have to let them go to, I'm willing to do that. Well there you have it. I'll try to blog more often but with two little ones running around a girl can get a bit busy. Until next time.....