 |
| Source |
Hello everyone out there in the world (I swear I will come up with a better opening. I promise.) Anyway the reason I am writing this morning (since it is after midnight here in NC) is that I've noticed a small trend lately. If you know me then you know that I am all about gossip blogs. You know like TMZ, Media Takeout, E! Online, ect... Also if you follow those blogs you will have read or heard that Usher recently got full custody of his two young sons that he had with his ex-wife Tameka Foster. When I first saw that they were in court for it, in my mind I said "Oh Usher will probably get more visitation with his kids, but I don't see him getting full physical custody." I didn't understand what Tameka had done to make her unfit to care for her young sons. Also she has children from other relationships and their fathers aren't coming after her to take those kids away either. Well if you followed the trial, then you heard that Tameka put the smack down on Usher for bringing his new girlfriend with him to pick up his sons. Okay first of all I believe there is more to that story because being a woman, the last think you want to see is your man trying to play father of the year and family man with some new chick and YOUR kids!! So if I was in her shoes and PJ was in Usher's, then yeah, PJ may have felt a size 11 going up side his head sorry. Anyhoo there was also speculation that Usher had cheated on Tameka with one of her bridesmaids. Again if that had of been me, the trial I would be involved in would not be a custody trial, it would possibly be either an assault trial or worse. Well from the outside looking in, it seemed like more of a nasty divorce case than a custody hearing. In all I read I failed to see where Tameka would have been considered an unfit parent and that custody of her children should be stripped from her. Well maybe the judge saw something because Tameka doesn't have custody of her sons right now. Oh but not to worry, she has appealed the ruling on the grounds that the judge may be biased because Usher's attorney's contributed to that's judge's election campaigns. Of course the judge dismissed the motion to appeal and now basically Usher is stating through his attorney's that he has won and she needs to get over it. I'm sorry but in what bizarro world would a mother every stop fighting for her kids? Especially one who has not to long ago had to bury one of her kids after a tragic accident. I would fight until there were no other options, but I would not just roll over and accept what has happened and I don't believe that any reasonable person should expect Tameka to do so either. Which leads me to my question: What is with these superstar dads getting full custody without any real evidence that the mother is unfit?
I have been asking this question since Dewayne Wade got custody of his kids after a nasty and bitter divorce from his wife. His marital problems were also tabloid fodder because for a time there was the rumor that he was getting his freak on with girlfriend Gabrielle Union in front of the kids. Also Gabby lost a bit of respect from some people because D-Wade was technically still married when they got together. However, I haven't seen where he ex-wife is unfit to be a parent to their kids full time. From what I gathered she is a bit pissed off about the whole situation and if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't be skipping down the street, but that's just me. Maybe there is something that says that it would not be in the kids best interests to be with her full time, but to me it just seems that because these men are respected in their communities and make a ton of money, they have to be the best option for their kids and their relatively unknown spouses are just left with their cheese in the wind so to speak. Both D-Wade and Usher have said that their reasons for seeking full custody is because they were not getting enough visitation and time with their children and they made vows to be good fathers to their children no matter what. Don't get me wrong, I find that to be outstanding and noble due to the fact that they are trying to break a cycle of no constant male presence growing up. However, what does that do to them to be taken from their mothers who have been their since birth because you can't come to some sort of agreement. Now before people start throwing bricks through my window, the door swings both ways. The mothers can also open the door of communication and make sure that things are comfortable for all parties, but I just feel a little raw about mother's being denied the chance to raise their kids when it is the fathers who left (evidenced by the fact that they are the ones who filed for divorce).
Back to Usher real quick. Sunday night he was interviewed by Oprah and in that interview he admitted to cheating on his wife (even though he tried to say that they were separated (yeah right). Now to me when a husband cheats and there are kids involved, he not only cheats on his wife, but he cheats on his kids as well by showing them the wrong way to end a marriage that they feel is no longer working. That's just my opinion. To sum things up because I am about to fall asleep at the keyboard, I just think that these superstars are getting away with what ever because the legal system is too star struck to look at the evidence and truly do what is right for the kids. I would say to the men out there who want full custody of their kids to ask themselves are they truly doing this for the sake of their kids or are they doing this to get back at the mother for a past wrong? Is there some way to raise the kids and coexist? Well that's all I have to say about that. Until next time everybody....
