This Is For My Lovey



And Then He Kissed Me...

 Hey everybody out there. It's me again and I thought that I would do a blog about my husband. Well the idea came when one day last week he asked me if I still blogged sometimes. I said yeah and he said that he remembered when I blogged on MySpace about him. I remembered those blogs too because that's when I really expressed my deeply rooted love for him. Don't get me wrong, I still am deeply and over my heels in love with him. There's not a day that goes by when I don't want to touch him, kiss him, and tell him I love him. I still listen to songs and immediately think of him. I know he probably thinks that the songs I sing along to are annoying but he should also know that if I am singing the words and not just humming then I'm singing to him because that particular song is how I feel about him. In fact I can name three songs of the top of my head and they are all by Beyonce (which is surprising in and of itself because I'm not the biggest Beyonce fan): Countdown, Love On Top, and Party. All three of those songs have lyrics that are exactly how I feel about Lovey. So what to blog about Lovey...

Well maybe I should start at when we met. We met when I was still working at the women's prison here. I started first and then by the time I came back from basic training, Lovey had just started. I didn't notice him at first, but when I first talked to him, I thought he was a nice guy but I wasn't crushing on him or anything. Well little did I know that he was kind of crushing on me. Well one day that crush became known because he called me in the unit I was working in and gave me his number and asked me to call when I got off work. Me being the oblivious one that I am still didn't realize that he had an inkling of liking me and I thought he wanted to ask me about something having to do with another coworker. When I called, we talked for a few minutes and then we ended up talking about restaurants. When I said that I never ate at Red Lobster, he asked if I wanted to go. I said yeah why not and we set a night to go. When I hung up, I was like I think I just got asked out on a date. Well I went out with him to Red Lobster, where I found out that he interviewed with the NYPD and that he was 10 years older than me. Now looking at him I still can't believe that he will be 40 this year. Seriously, I've seen him with his shirt off. He's hot okay? After dinner, we sat in his truck and talked some more because neither one of us was ready to go home yet. During the conversation, where I learned that he played basketball in college (I'm a sucker for basketball players), he asked me the question that changed everything for us. He asked if he could kiss me. I didn't even think, I just said yes. That kiss was long, passionate, beautiful, and to this day I still think about it and it's been six years ago. When he kissed me, I heard music. From that moment on, I knew that he was special.

We started hanging out off and on for the next few years, but we always talked and when I needed him, her was there for me as I was for him. However it was in 2009 when our dynamic really changed. In February I professed that I was seriously falling for him and I wanted to be with him for a long time. In May, things really got serious because that's when I found out that I was pregnant with Itty Bitty. What was so significant about me being pregnant was that a few years before he said that if we weren't seeing other people or married to anyone by the time I was 27 and he was 37, then we would have a baby. I thought he was joking at the time because I was already set on the fact that I didn't want kids, but here I was pregnant and I was 27 and he was 37. I was a bit wary about our relationship because I wanted him to know that even though I'm having his child, he's not obligated to lock things down i.e. getting married. However, when I said that, he made a face like why don't you think I wouldn't marry you. After having Itty, we were living together and we finally talked about getting married. At first we said Vegas, but then I wanted my family to see me get married so we picked a date that we both can remember 9/10/11 and we got married.

Fast forward five months from the day we tied the knot and we are still the same love sick kids we were back in his truck in 2006. When he kisses me I still hear music and we have our two beautiful girls. When I listen to Amy Winehouse I still smile because now all her music is about our relationship together. We've had ups and a few downs, but I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world. I like to think that before we settled down, I was a perpetual playgirl. Going out and going crazy, daring someone to tame me. Well I can say that now I've been tamed and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Lovey and when I'm 70 and you're 80 I hope that the love we have for each other is still there along with your six pack LOL!!

Who? Who Doesn't Want to Wear The Ribbon? Me Because Susan G. Komen Pissed Me Off This Week



Bob and Cedric From Seinfeld (I Had To Do It)

 Hey everybody out there in blogoland (hehe cute huh?). As you can see from the title of the post I'm about to go in on The Susan G. Komen Foundation. Unless you were living under a rock this week, you have heard by now that earlier this week the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation announced it was cutting funding to Planned Parenthood. The funding was going towards breast cancer screening for Planned Parenthood's patients who normally consist of low income individuals and those who do not have insurance to pay for these screenings. When asked why funding was being cut SGK said that they had implemented new policies that prevent them from assisting any program that is under investigation. Yes Planned Parenthood is under investigation in Washington because the bozos up there want to make sure that federal money is not funding abortions which some Planned Parenthoods provide (more on that later). Well after that announcement was made, the world of social media was on fire. There hasn't been this much buzz since Beyonce rubbed her belly at the VMAs. Anyway the general consensus was that SGK's decision was politically motivated and nothing more because PP was the only organization this new rule affected. At first SGK said it wasn't political and that they were not backing down from their decision. Well apparently as Nino Brown put it in New Jack City: money talks and bullsh*t runs a marathon because SGK reversed their decision and announced that Planned Parenthood would continue to collect grant money from SGK as long as they were eligible to do so.

If you know me I have a lot of passions in life such as my family, my husband, cooking, shopping, the search for a delicious cocktail that doesn't taste like disinfectant (more on that later too) and politics. I know you're thinking how is Susan G. Komen and Planned Parenthood political Afton? Well I didn't think that I would be able to say Susan G. Komen and politics in the same breath until recently when everyone wants to think that when you walk into a Planned Parenthood the first thing they want to do is kill unborn babies. Let me start from the beginning...

Abortion is not pretty. It is not fun. It is not an easy decision to make. Don't ask me how I know but trust me on this. It is painful. It is a lonely isolating decision that will dog you the rest of your life. As for my position on it, I feel that it is every woman's right to make that choice for herself. It is not the government's right at all. The people who want to take that choice of whether to have a child is the same government that will turn it's back on you if you have said child and need help keeping your head above water. Planned Parenthood is there when that decision has to be made. Some PP would rather not perform abortions and rather give counseling on where to go as well as other options such as adoption. Some PP do perform abortions but it is done in a medical setting according to the laws of the state they are in. Like I said there are some people who want abortions made illegal and it is those people who are now in charge of Susan G. Komen. One of the directors of the charity once ran for governor under a pro-life agenda and she wants to sit with a straight face and say that the decision to cut funding to Planned Parenthood is not political? Yeah right I'm sure. What these nuts don't know or they know and don't care because they have an axe to grind is that Planned Parenthood provides health services to low income individuals. Those services include contraception and reproductive health. If you have a UTI and need to see someone, Planned Parenthood is there. Need birth control but embarrassed to ask the family doctor who comes to your house for dinner, Planned Parenthood is there. Abortions only account for 3% of what Planned Parenthood does. 3 stinkin percent. So when funding is cut, it doesn't hurt the ones who want an abortion because abortion clinics are a dime a dozen. It hurts the 97% who want affordable reproductive health care and that sucks hard (no pun intended).

So what to do moving forward from Susan G. Komen's fiasco? Well it all comes down to what we need to do as a collective people. We need to educate our sons and daughters about all aspects of sexuality. No we don't need to pop in Debbie Does Dallas and ask them to take notes. We need to have a frank heart to heart discussion on the ins and outs of sex (I know I know). When I was growing up, if I ever had a question about sex, I knew I could go to my mom. Sex Ed only covers so much. It is up to us to tell our kids not only our expectations but what needs to be done. For myself I can say that even though my girls are only 2 and 4 weeks old, I already know what I'm going to say to them. I would rather they did wait until they are married to have a sexual relationship with someone, but I'm not stupid either. I'm sure that's how my mother felt about me and my brother. In a dream world that would be perfect, but we know that it's not the truth. I would tell them that I don't want them to be stupid when it comes to making choices about sex. They need to protect themselves. The pill isn't going to save you from a disease that can't be cured, so make the guy wear a condom. That not only protects you but it protects the both of you from having to make a decision regarding the life of a child you may not be ready to take care of. That's the sad irony of those who want to close down Planned Parenthood. They want to push that no sex before marriage is the way to go. Hey if it was working then sure, but it's not. So get your head out of your culo and talk to your kids.

In closing let me just say this. I'm glad that Susan G. Komen changed their minds. Am I still mad? A little bit. Will I still try to enter the Race for the Cure? Maybe. Will I still buy or eat something pink? Of course. But I'll do it with my eyes a little more open now. Well folks rant is over. I'm about to cook me a Red Barons and do some homework. Until next time...

New Year, New Baby, Same Shopping Addictions



Queen Bey (She's A New Mama Too But Without the Budget Constraints)

 Hey everybody. It's your girl once again. You may have noticed a change in not only my blog's address but the title of the blog as well. What happened was that I purchased the domain hotrdumommy.com. However due to me being in the hospital having Itty v. 2.0 I let the payment lapse and well I would have to pay five times what I paid to get it back. No way that was happening, so I just started a new blog. I will not be purchasing another domain again until I am sure that I will remember to pay for the renewal. So just remember that it is now hotrdumommy82.blogspot.com. I have been changing everything that has the old url because now when you go to hotrdumommy.com some ad to purchase the domain comes up instead. Anywhoo....

As the title says it is a new year and with this new year came a new baby for me. I gave birth to Camille Adele on January 6th and after almost 2 weeks of her being in the NICU, she is home with me, Lovey, and Itty and we could not be happier. I will be writing about her birth story in a later blog because up to when I started to be induced everything was the same as with Itty but then things changed.

As for my same shopping addictions, yes I believe I may have a problem. Well I won't say problem because bills get paid and the family is eating. However, I will say that I am a product junkie and it's not just hair. It's also makeup, shoes and purses. So far this year I have bought:

• Naked 2 palette
• Pink Sugar Sensual perfume
• Clarisonic Brush Heads
• UD Rollergirl palette
• UD Perversion 24/7 eyeliner
• UD Lip Junkie in Naked
• Hello Kitty Brown Bag from Baghaus.com
• Black Platform Pumps from Shoedazzle.com
• Red Purse from Shoedazzle.com
• MAC Viva Glam Nicki lipstick

Oh yeah. That's alot of haulin' baby. Well I feel I've earned it and I've also been buying the girls somethings too. I've also been responsible by putting money into my car so that we can get around as well as paying the essential bills that need to be paid. So like I said I have a small little addiction but as far as I can tell it's under control and besides I think that Lovey would step in if things got too out of control.

Well that's about it for now, but stick around because I will be continuing to blog about my everyday life. Feel free to suggest what I should blog about next time. I think I will do a blog on my hair journey so far (it's been over a year now), Camille's birth story, plus some FOTD and OOTD blogs just to see how those turn out. Until next time...

Should Auld Aquaintance Be Forgot...

Tell 'Em Big Baby Sent Ya!!!

Hey there everyone. It's your girl once again. I know it's been a while but with bills getting a little OC I had to cut out some expenses, the Internet being one of them. As for how I'm online now, well I'm at Wake Medical Center because I may be having little Camille a bit earlier than expected. As with Itty my blood pressure has been increasing and my kidney function is not the best. However, I will press on as I always do and pray that me and my daughter turn out to be happy and healthy. Anyway I just could not let the new year come in without posting a little something reflecting on 2011, so here goes.

The year began alright but in March I lost my father. It's a pain that never goes away, but gets a little lighter as time goes by. In June I found out that I was pregnant again (ironically on Father's Day). In July my grandfather suffered a stroke and passed away a few weeks later in August. Then in September, I got married to the love of my life and things couldn't be better for me.

In closing out 2011, I just want to say that I hope 2012 brings everyone everything they ever wished and hoped for. As for me I hope to continue to be a great mom, a kick ass wife, a model student, and just my divalicious self.

See you all next year

A Baby Story or A Christmas Story



My Itty Bitty Princess

 Hello everyone out there. In my last post I said that I would relay the story of how my daughter Justine came into the world since I am about to have my second daughter in February. So grab a glass of whatever, sit back and enjoy my daughter's birth story.

I think we should start around the week before Thanksgiving 2009. I was taking CNA courses at Wake Tech and had passed the theory part and was about to start my clinicals so that I could take the State Certification Test. Before we went for the tour, my classmates and I were practicing taking each other's blood pressure. They loved to take my vitals because I was the only pregnant woman in the class which was sort of a good distraction from the stress of class. Anyway, when they took my vitals, my blood pressure was up. When I mean up it was around the 140s to 150s. My instructors were like you should go to your doctor, but I didn't have any symptoms like a headache or vision problems, so I said I would go after the tour of the clinical site. Well I went to the health department and they checked my BP and said go over to the hospital we're calling ahead for you. When I got there I went straight to the L&D triage and they check the baby and my vitals and ran an urinalysis. The doctor came back in and said "Well we need to keep you for a few days to see if you have pre-eclampsia. I was like Okay and make my calls to my mom and PJ. A few days later I was sent home with orders to take it easy and not to do anything strenuous including forgoing my CNA clinicals. I was also transferred to the high risk clinic were every week I had to go in for a check up. I remember my appointment was every Monday and just about every Monday I was sent over to the L&D triage and from there either I was sent home on bed rest or kept in the hospital.

Fast forward to my baby shower on Saturday December 19, 2009. I was due to give birth to Justine at the end of January 2010. PJ's mom came for the shower but because of the weather (ice and sleet) she wanted to go ahead and get back to New York. The next day we went to dinner at Olive Garden for my mom's birthday. I remember everyone sampled Moscato but me because of Justine. The next day (Monday) I went for my check up and true to form I was sent to the hospital. The doctor who sent me said that she really didn't want to because I was asymptomatic for the pre-eclampsia but her superior said to just send me over and if nothing was wrong I would be sent home. When I got to the triage room, the doctor who had ordered me to bed rest was like "You again?"  I was sent to a room. From what I understood, I was a resident of Wake Medical until the baby was ready to be born, which could mean I would be there until the end of January unless my BP could go down.

On Wednesday, December 23, 2009 I was still in the hospital and was taken to ultrasound to run tests on Justine to check her growth and development. I was starting to get depressed because no one wants to spend Christmas in a hospital. By the next day Christmas Eve I was ready to go home. I was done. My BP was still up and I was like "If they can't keep it down here, why not let me go home?" I watched the A Christmas Story marathon on TBS with PJ and we imagined if that's what our family would be like when we had Justine.

On Friday, December 25, 2009 PJ left around 5:20am to go to work. At around 6:00am the doctors came to do their rounds. I remember telling them that either they tell me what's the next step or I'm checking myself out of the hospital. The doctor assured me that she would find out what was going on and that she would be back to let me know what was going to happen next. My mom came around 10:00am and stayed for about an hour before she left to go to my grandparent's house to help with Christmas preparations. At around 11:00am the nurse came in to do the daily check on Justine. Right after she hooked me up to the machine and left, the doctor came in. She started talking about how because of my pre-eclampsia, Justine had stopped growing and that basically she was in the womb getting nothing. She summed it up with the words "today you're having your baby". I was initially shocked. It wasn't the outcome I was looking for but moments later I was excited. That little girl who had been kicking me and rolling around was finally coming into the world even though it was 6 weeks early. I first called PJ at work. If you know PJ you know that outwardly he is Mr. Calm and Collected, but he told me that inside he was ecstatic. I then called my mom and told her.

Around 3:00pm the induction preparation began. PJ was there and all I could eat was ice chips. The last thing I had to eat was a cup of chicken noodle soup. A far cry from the cheeseburger and fries I had been grubbing on. The doctor put me on Magnesium to prevent any seizures that could come with giving birth with pre-eclampsia and it made me miserable. I would be hot and then cold and then hot. PJ would fan me and cover me and hold my hand, but I just wanted to get the show on the road. Around 7:00pm the doctor examined me and saw that I was completely closed so he inserted a bulb catheter to start my cervix dilating. About 45 minutes later I felt my first contraction. It felt like an intense menstrual cramp and it lasted a few seconds. I squeezed PJ's hand and he squeezed back. The contractions were slow and I could handle them.

Around 8:30-8:45pm the doctor ran a test on Justine to see how she was doing. When the test was over he said she wasn't tolerating labor because not only was her heart rate dropping, but she wasn't moving as much as she should. In other words, we were moving to a c-section.

I signed the papers and took that medicine that tastes like the world's worst shot. I was wheeled to the operation room while PJ waited outside until he was able to come in. The nurses had me sit on the side of the OR table so that the anesthesiologist could administer the epidural. However when he put the needle in I felt a sharp pain down my right leg. He tried again and again I felt the pain. I was trying to tell him that I felt the pain in my leg, but he was being an asshole and acting like it wasn't him, I was me. I remember wanted to yell out the f-bomb, but instead I threw up on the poor nurse in front of me. I think he got the message and stopped the epidural. Later we would discover that I had scar tissue from two spinal surgeries and that's why the epidural didn't work. I heard him say, let's prep for general which meant they were knocking me out. Then I heard someone say "Who's that guy sitting out there?" I yelled that's my boyfriend and asked if anyone told him what was going on. I then heard the door open and close, so I assumed that they were going to tell him. The nurses laid me back and said "Just close your eyes and think about your beautiful baby."

The next thing I know I'm waking up in the recovery room with my mom calling out "Afton wake up. You're a mommy". I opened my eyes and saw her and asked where was PJ. She told me that he was with the baby and was coming back to see me. I asked if she cried and was told that she did. I smiled and went back to sleep. PJ then came in and said "She's so beautiful". Justine Briana was born at 11:09 pm on Christmas Night. She weighed 4 pounds and 3 ounces and had slick black hair. I remember the first time I saw her face to face. It was Saturday, December 26, 2009 in the evening. I was still loopy from all the medicine I had but the moment I saw her, everything was clear. The first thing I said was "She's teeny tiny". She looked at me with a look that said "Where have you been?" I held her and made a promise to myself that I would go to hell and back to make sure that she was safe and that nothing ever happened to her. She's the love of my life. She's the Christmas present that will keep giving and bringing joy for the rest of my life. I love you Justine Briana. This post is dedicated to you.

Love MOMMY!!

The Little Kicks

Sweet Fancy Moses!! (source)

Hi everybody! I wanted to drop by to update on what's been going on in my little corner of the world. Well I am officially a married woman. Me and PJ tied the knot on Saturday September 10th. It was so beautiful and I wish I could live the day over and over again. It was so funny because during our vows instead of saying "I Will" PJ said "I Do". He was so cute. Then I couldn't get his ring over his knuckle even though we knew it fit, so there was a little laughter during the ceremony. When we lit the unity candle, PJ couldn't move his out of the holder so I had to help him out. Finally when we were walking down the aisle, he leaned over and asked did my feet hurt and I said "Yep". He said I could tell by the look on your face. Married life is good. Everyone expects me to be like "OMG! It's the best in the world", but PJ and I feel like we've been married since Itty Bitty was born since we lived together and carried ourselves like we were married. He said that the ceremony was just squaring everything with God and the State of North Carolina.

Also I had an extra guest, our yet to be born baby girl. Yes I'm having another girl. We are naming her Camille, but I call her Itty Bitty 2. As I'm writing this I am 21 weeks pregnant and I'm starting to feel her kicking. They aren't the strong coordinated kicks yet, but I know that this is beyond the "butterflies" feeling when a baby can first be felt moving. If she's anything like her big sister, she will be kicking in full force by December. I'm due the day after Valentine's Day and I kinda hope that she is born on Valentine's Day. That way I'll have my two holiday babies since Itty Bitty was born on Christmas. My next entry will be Itty's birth story. So until then I leave you with a few pics from my wedding....

P.S. The title of my post is also the title of one of the funniest episodes of Seinfeld. All I have to say is "Elaine dancing" LOL!!

Same-Sex Marriage: Is It Really Our Business?

Source

Hello everyone out there in blog land. I just wanted to stop by and rant for a few moments if I could. Well first of all I got married on Saturday!! However, that's another blog for another time so bear with me. As you may know, same-sex marriage has been getting alot of coverage and momentum in the past few years. In fact you may recall that only a few months ago, New York, allowed same-sex marriage. Well of course the political bible thumping zealots out there are up in arms. My favorite claim among them is that "we are protecting marriage!" Protecting it from what? I am confident that my marriage is sound as a pound baby. We have love here and I know that's what same-sex couples have. I have friends and family who are homosexual and are in long term relationships with their partners and couldn't be happier. In fact sometimes they are happier in their relationships than their hetero counterparts. In North Carolina, the law on the books now, forbids same-sex marriages. Now they want to put it in the state's constitution to define marriage as a union of one man and one woman (eye roll). To me not only is it redundant, it's hateful. It's discriminatory. What's to say that somewhere down the line, North Carolina doesn't start back with segregation saying "Hey you multi-racial couples! We aren't going to recognize your marriage either!"
In my opinion and yes it is my opinion. It don't cost to think so I do...It's none of our damn business who marries who and who sleeps with who. I don't care! Their lives are in no way interfering with mine. They are happy. I am happy. Like I said you don't mess with my money or my family and same-sex marriage is not messing with my family. Hell it could happen in my family.
Another point I want to bring across is that when the anti-homosexual jerks had their rally today, I noticed that a majority of the ones calling for this amendment are black! Yes African-Americans. The same African-Americans who at one time were told that they could not marry outside their race. Hell we were told one time that we couldn't marry anyone anywhere. How about those apples. It's sad because some of these people are friends of mine and my family, but it breaks my heart that they can be so hateful and callous. Before you state, "Afton you're not exactly playing nice" I know my words are harsh and I do respect that they have their opinions. That's what makes this country so freakin' great. The ability to voice opinions. I just think that we need to pay attention to what's really going on in the world like unemployment, foreign relations, domestic issues (that don't have to do with what grown people are doing in their own houses), and the elimination of programs designed to help children.
I can hear the Helen Lovejoys of the world yelling "Won't someone please think about the children?" There are those who believe that homosexual relationships warp children. That is crazy! There are plenty of children of heterosexuals who are really f-ed up. I just believe in everyone being treated the same. What makes me superior to someone who is homosexual? We both bleed. We both feel. We both love. My grandmother said that if it is a sin, their day will come and it will come for everyone because we all sin and our sins are no greater than anyone elses. However while we are here on this earth, let people live and do what they feel is right. I agree 100%. The people who are playing God and judging will go to the same hell as the ones they are condemning if it is meant to be so.
In closing, do what you feel and keep both feet on the wheel. To me life is too short to worry about what consenting adults do in their own homes and lives. It's not interfering with my life so salud!
P.S. The pic is Julio and Grady on the Simpsons getting married by Homer. The episode is "There's Something About Marrying" It's the one when Patty comes out and it's one of my favorite episodes.

Keeping it real with a touch of crazy