Same-Sex Marriage: Is It Really Our Business?

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Hello everyone out there in blog land. I just wanted to stop by and rant for a few moments if I could. Well first of all I got married on Saturday!! However, that's another blog for another time so bear with me. As you may know, same-sex marriage has been getting alot of coverage and momentum in the past few years. In fact you may recall that only a few months ago, New York, allowed same-sex marriage. Well of course the political bible thumping zealots out there are up in arms. My favorite claim among them is that "we are protecting marriage!" Protecting it from what? I am confident that my marriage is sound as a pound baby. We have love here and I know that's what same-sex couples have. I have friends and family who are homosexual and are in long term relationships with their partners and couldn't be happier. In fact sometimes they are happier in their relationships than their hetero counterparts. In North Carolina, the law on the books now, forbids same-sex marriages. Now they want to put it in the state's constitution to define marriage as a union of one man and one woman (eye roll). To me not only is it redundant, it's hateful. It's discriminatory. What's to say that somewhere down the line, North Carolina doesn't start back with segregation saying "Hey you multi-racial couples! We aren't going to recognize your marriage either!"
In my opinion and yes it is my opinion. It don't cost to think so I do...It's none of our damn business who marries who and who sleeps with who. I don't care! Their lives are in no way interfering with mine. They are happy. I am happy. Like I said you don't mess with my money or my family and same-sex marriage is not messing with my family. Hell it could happen in my family.
Another point I want to bring across is that when the anti-homosexual jerks had their rally today, I noticed that a majority of the ones calling for this amendment are black! Yes African-Americans. The same African-Americans who at one time were told that they could not marry outside their race. Hell we were told one time that we couldn't marry anyone anywhere. How about those apples. It's sad because some of these people are friends of mine and my family, but it breaks my heart that they can be so hateful and callous. Before you state, "Afton you're not exactly playing nice" I know my words are harsh and I do respect that they have their opinions. That's what makes this country so freakin' great. The ability to voice opinions. I just think that we need to pay attention to what's really going on in the world like unemployment, foreign relations, domestic issues (that don't have to do with what grown people are doing in their own houses), and the elimination of programs designed to help children.
I can hear the Helen Lovejoys of the world yelling "Won't someone please think about the children?" There are those who believe that homosexual relationships warp children. That is crazy! There are plenty of children of heterosexuals who are really f-ed up. I just believe in everyone being treated the same. What makes me superior to someone who is homosexual? We both bleed. We both feel. We both love. My grandmother said that if it is a sin, their day will come and it will come for everyone because we all sin and our sins are no greater than anyone elses. However while we are here on this earth, let people live and do what they feel is right. I agree 100%. The people who are playing God and judging will go to the same hell as the ones they are condemning if it is meant to be so.
In closing, do what you feel and keep both feet on the wheel. To me life is too short to worry about what consenting adults do in their own homes and lives. It's not interfering with my life so salud!
P.S. The pic is Julio and Grady on the Simpsons getting married by Homer. The episode is "There's Something About Marrying" It's the one when Patty comes out and it's one of my favorite episodes.

Keeping it real with a touch of crazy

To Keep Forever Sacred The Memory of Those We Have Loved and Lost

Hi everyone out there. I wanted to take a minute to do a quick blog post about losing those who are close to us. On August 14th, my grandfather passed away after suffering a stroke a few weeks earlier. When my mom called me and told me that he was dying, I found myself yelling the same thing I yelled when my father passed away a few months earlier. "It's not fair!" I know I must have sounded like a child to PJ, but even he agreed that it wasn't fair, while he silently wept and I loudly sobbed. I like to fancy myself a religious person, but not overzealous about the whole thing. Everyone kept telling me that I should be happy that my grandfather no longer has to suffer and that he is at peace and with God. I know I should be happy for that, but unfortunately I am still angry and sad about the whole thing. I find myself asking what kind of God would get our hopes up for his recovery, only to then take that away by my grandfather dying? I also wonder, what really happens when we die? It's a thought that permeates my brain constantly. I mean does everything go black and that's the end? Do we actually see the white light and our loved ones ready to embrace us with open arms? What about people who go to hell? Do they immediately decend into a pit of fire? Or do we all wait until Judgement Day and then that's when people are assigned to their final destinations? Or is it when we die, we die. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, no nothing? Death can seriously make you question these things. Also it's of note that a close friend of me and PJ just lost their baby. He was born premature and did not make it. I think it is really getting to PJ based on the fact that I'm pregnant now. I just don't know what to do or say to make things any better. I guess sometimes when things like this happen, I'm the forget about it and move on kind of person, but then again I have never lost a child. I guess when it comes to death and dying, we have to remember, but do our best to move on as well.

RIP Amy Winehouse

As I'm sure all of you know by now, Amy Winehouse passed away today at the age of 27. As many who know me know, I am a huge Amy Winehouse fan. I listen to her music all the time and I even dressed like her for Halloween one year. It is sad when such a great talent like her and others die so young, before more can be accomplished. I understand that she had her issues and her demons with her. Hell, I have mine too that I have to work through. It's just frustrating when even with everything that she did to get better and get back to the music that made her great, she still had those battles with addiction to fight and in the end she lost. There is a great significance with the age of her passing. There are tweets saying that she joined "Club 27" which is a so-called club of those who were influential in the music world who also passed away at 27. Members include Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Kobain, Jim Morrison, and I do believe there are others. In fact there is a wikipedia article about it. There are others who say "well are you really surprised"? I have to say that while dying young was one of the outcomes that could befall Amy Winehouse, it is surprising because you just wanted her to turn it around and keep making music, which I'm sure she loved more than the drugs and the booze. As I end this blog, I just want to say to Miss Winehouse where ever she is, "Thank you for the songs you gave to the world and to myself. Back to Black put my relationships with men into perspective and Frank helped me to make the decisions in life I needed to make. I love you Amy and I know that now you are at peace." On that note, I'm out but before I leave I want to dedicate this song to all of Amy's fans around the world who are grieving today...

21 Questions Hair Tag

1. Why did you start taking better care of your hair?I started taking care of my hair after having my daughter and all the post partum shedding that comes with it. I wanted hair that was healthy and long.
2. What are your 2 favorite products?Silk Elements Mega Moisturizing Treatment and Neutrogena Triple Moisture Leave-In Conditioner
3. Who's hair did you admire as a child?Aaliyah!! I used to get sew ins to look like her lol.
4. What is your ultimate goal length?APL or BSB. It used to be waist length but I'm re-evaluating that goal.
5. How are you going to celebrate when you reach it?With lots of pictures including action shots of me swinging it around.
6. Two styles you want to try at your goal length?One will definitely be a high pony tail and the other perhaps a "big" bun.
7. Which do you prefer: Health or length?
Health because without health there is no length.
8. Which do you prefer: Hair ties with no metal parts, or butterfly clips?Hair ties with no metal parts
9. What products do you prefer: salon brands, organic brands, BSS brands or drugstore brands?Drugstore brands because they are easier to get a hold of.
10. Which product/technique do you think is over-rated?
GHE. I tried it and hated it. My hair felt like I got it wet under the shower head. Never again.
11. Which product/technique do you think is under-rated? Doing things in sections like moisturizing and sealing because to me, it makes sure that I get all of my hair instead of slathering on product and hoping for the best.
12. What is your favorite part of your hair regimen?Deep conditioning. I love mixing oils and the feeling my hair gets after I rinse it out is amazing.
13. What is the most annoying part of your hair regimen?Detangling my hair. I hate it because I always get paranoid about the amount of hair that's coming out.
14. Oils or butters?Oils.
15. Bun or ponytail?Bun.
16. Wig or weave (or neither)?Both. Can I say both?
17. What is your opinion on growth aids?They can either be a friend or foe. I think that sometimes too much is put into these growth aids. I think we have to understand that they won't transform one's hair from EL to Chaka Kahn overnight. (I credit my mom for the Chaka Kahn reference)
18. What length do you consider long?I consider SL long.
19. When is the last time you've been to a salon?April 13, 2011 for a relaxer and trim. I am due back in before my wedding for my relaxer and sew-in.
20. What do you like to surf the most: youtube channels, personal blogs or hair forums?Personal blogs because I think they go more in depth about a hair journey than youtube or hair forums. Don't get me wrong I love youtube but sometimes you just want the meat of the journey without the posturing and posing that some youtubers give.
21. And finally, what piece of advice would you give to someone just starting out their hair journey?
Rome wasn't built in a day and your hair didn't grow in a day either. It takes time and work to reach your goals. If having Rapunzel hair was easy and came in a magic formula, we would all have hair to our bootys but the truth is that nothing will grow hair that long but patience, time, and a good regimen.

Heeere Comes Bridezilla!!

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Hi to everyone out there in blog land. Just wanted to stop by and talk about that mythical creature that comes out around the time of their wedding. It is the Bridezilla and well I believe that I am starting to turn into one. Yesterday I had a meeting with my planner, my mother, and Lovey. Well I can tell you there were tears and they won't coming from Itty Bitty. I don't know what is coming over me, but I swear I just want everything to be done with. I am stressing because crazy me I walked into this wedding planning without a set budget. I guess I never set one because 1. I'm not working at the moment and I am using my unemployment as well as student loan funds to pay for the wedding and 2. I am counting on my family to kind of come through on some financing as well. It also doesn't help that I am pregnant. Yep I'll be walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven. At first I was worried about what people would think, but screw 'em. I'm almost 30 and I already have one baby. It was bound to happen I guess. Anyway, the one thing that I am really being a bridezilla about is the decor for the ceremony and the reception. I don't like anything chintzy looking and cheap and I'm afraid that if I cut back on it then that's what it will become. I find myself kicking my butt all over Raleigh because me and Lovey planned on eloping, but I wanted a wedding where my family could see me walk down the aisle. My mom and my dad got married in Dillon, SC at a small chapel without family watching and my grandmother is counting on me to be the one that walks down the aisle. My brother is one of those guys that if he gets married it will be a huge surprise, so it falls to me. I know that the day will be beautiful and nothing matters except for me and Lovey, but the perfectionist in me has visions of a made for tv wedding dancing in my head. Well nothing to do now but wrap up the final details and wait for September 10th to roll around. Until next time ladies and gents...

I'm Baaaaack!!! (A Little Narcisictic, But...)

Hi everyone out there. Just thought that I would post a little something for those who are like "where has this girl been for the past one or two months"? Well I am still here but I have some news. Well for those who don't know I am going to be a mommy again. So maybe I should change the name of my blog to "Tales of a Twenty-Something Mommy v 2.0" lol. I found out on Father's Day and the pregnancy is still early and I go for my lab work on Monday so hopefully everything will turn out fine. As far as school goes, I am back in the swing of things for now, but as you know procrastination is a beeyotch sometimes. Especially when you have a toddler that wants your undivided attention. As for the wedding, I am getting down to the wire and I think that my bridezilla is kicking in. I just want things my way because 1. the things I want I am paying for and 2. it's me and PJ's day and in the end, it's us who should be happy with the results. I know some people are not going to be happy with that, but well they'll get over it and if not then I don't know what to tell them. As for my hair journey, it's a process I'll tell you that. I think that after my wedding I am going to transition to natural. As for how long the transistion will be, I don't know. Maybe long term, maybe not, but it's something that I am deeply contemplating. Part of me wants to do it, so that I can better identify with my daughter and her natural hair. It's so pretty but the coils and curls are tight so shrinkage is the name of the game with her hair. I think that if I can understand my hair in its natural state, then it will transfer over to her hair.
Well that's everything for now. I will be back when I can with more musings on life and what not and if there is anything you would like to know, feel free to let me know.

I've Been Banned!!!!

Hi out there! I know from the title you're wondering "WTF?!?!". What I mean is that my fiance has banned me from commenting on news stories or anything that gets me worked up. He said that I am too invested emotionally in these message boards and that I should just read the story and move on instead of commenting and getting into sparring matches with people who are going to be ignorant regardless of what I say. I hate to admit it but he's right. One case in particular. There was a blog on a hairsite (not going to name names), but there was alot of back and forth regarding religion and the celebration of holidays. The tone of the blog was that the author was right and the rest of us were wrong and there was no if, ands, or buts about it. Well I got so upset to the point that I could feel my BP rising and my head started hurting. Finally I agreed to disagree and left the discussion alone. Then I was on a local news website and there was discussion about the recent tornados that came through NC. Some of the victims of this natural disaster were still in temporary housing and some of the commenters were ranting and raving about one of the victims being pregnant and unmarried. Well that got me started again because to me the real issue was that the young lady was African-American. It just boggles my mind that ever since Barack Obama became president, folks have lost their minds. The disgusting level of disrespect towards this man just stuns me. When I was in college, I was a member of the College Democrats and while I disagreed with President Bush's policies, I still had respect for the man and the office he held. It is no easy task being president because you have to please everyone knowing that it is not possible, but these people today (Birthers, Tea Party, Donald Trump, Sarah Palin) are just out for blood for no good reason except the president is Black and he's going to do everything he can to make it hard for us (whites). I'm sorry but that's my opinion. What is really silly to me is that if these people took 5th grade Social Studies, they would know that due to the lovely thing that is called checks and balances, President Obama can't do more than what Congress allows and that Congress can't do any more than what the Courts will allow, and on goes this thing of theirs. Well I spent enough time ranting. On a more positive note, my bridesmaids got their dresses and they are beautiful. I also ordered my niece's flowergirl dress and it is beyond cute. So I have my days when I am excited for the wedding and my days when I dread it, but I know when the day comes I will be happy no matter what. Well that's it for me. Until next time.......